This may sound silly to some but yes, self care guilt is a thing. I’ve experienced it for as long as I can remember. Taking care of me fully is a new concept in my world. I’ve always done things for me but I always did more for others.
There was a time when I thought that giving much of myself to everyone else was the right thing to do. I always seemed to have more of something than someone else who needed it. What I’ve come to realise though, is that no matter how much you give, it will never be enough. There will always be a hand outstretched once you’re willing to give.
Ultimately you are the only person responsible for making sure you’re okay. Not your friends, your spouse, your boss or anyone. I had a habit of always pegging my happiness on some one or some thing. It was always ‘if my boss would act right, I’d be so much happier’ or ‘if xxx boyfriend would only pay me the attention I deserve, I’d be much more content’.
And can we talk about the never ending need to be busy all the time? What is it with us that we wear being busy like a badge of honor? Why is it that some us see being busy as an indication of how successful and accomplished we are? Why do we run ourselves ragged all to say in the end ‘OMG I’ve been SO BUSY!!’. Man I did that all. the. time. I would pack my days and weekends with all sorts of volunteer work and hobbies and deep down inside I couldn’t wait for the seasons to end.
These days I still share and be the dutiful listening ear, but only if it’s not putting my mental and emotional health at a disadvantage. I think about me first in every situation and decide whether I want to be a part of it or not. It may sound selfish but I can say that the quality of my life has improved 10 fold.
I spent a lot of time over the years doing things I didn’t care to do and was absolutely miserable. I’d always be left doing something I hated or at an event when I’d have rather be in front of my TV. I made a deal with myself this year to say no without explanation. To stop making excuses and just say ‘hey, maybe next time’. The end.
I’ve stopped feeling badly about splurging on plants when I know there’s a friend who may be tight on cash. I have stopped feeling bad for sleeping in when a family member has had no sleep because of a new born. I’ve stopped feeling bad for saying no to keeping someone company at an event I have no interest in. I’ve started saying ‘sure why not’ when I see a sweater I like. And have stayed indoors even when the sun is out because I’d rather cozy up with a book. Because well, I deserve it. I have made decisions to make the chances of me having the life I want stand a bit higher, and I should not feel badly about that. If I don’t take care of me, there’ll be no me to give. And that’s not something I care to entertain at the moment.
As we’re talking self care, I’ve been doing a few things lately to sustain my happy and healthy place. If you follow me on Instagram you’d know I’m all the way into being a plant mom. This hobby is so therapeutic I couldn’t begin to say how much I’ve gained from it. I’m following this ridiculous diet that tells me I can’t have corn (sigh) with the aim of minding a healthier body. There’s this Arm and Hammer moisturizer that’s making me feel all boujie because I don’t need to use my hands to apply it! LOL. And I’m doing a lot of sitting around like a potato lately. My mind and body is thanking me. They love Good Girls on Netflix too.
What about you? Do you ever feel bad when practicing self care?
Thanks for stopping by!
PS ~ Tips to stay asleep and musings on plant parenthood!
Published: June 23, 2019 4:29 PM