A Personal Note, about Anxiety

A Personal Note, about Anxiety

As I get older, my anxiety has grown heavier and heavier. Taking up more and more of my day than I would like. It’s something that I struggle to get a grasp on and there is no lie when people say it’s crippling. You literally feel like you can’t breathe, you’re winded, nauseated and confused. You feel like you can’t get out. You’re not particularly trapped anywhere, but you think you are. You run things over in your head a hundred times, trying to figure it out. With little to not recourse. It’s really a horrid place to be.

The source of my anxiety spreads vastly, but my top pain points are, my health (will I get cancer?), my career (is it where I want it to be? Do I know what I want it to be?) and my future (what IS my future?). A lot also comes from society and where I think I fall in it versus where I think I should fall within it. If that makes sense.

I can’t really pinpoint when exactly this all started, and what caused it, but on looking back, I see the so very obvious anxiety traits peeking through here and there. I’ve promised myself though, that I’m going to deal with it sooner rather than later and although it’s a small start, there are a few things I’ve been doing.

I’ve started seeing someone. Just to chat. Someone who has no horse in the race and who can give me some clarity on my clouded judgments. On our first chat, she said to me “I think you’re making decisions, judgments and comparisons based on assumptions. Major, dangerous assumptions. On things you can’t possibly have fact for.”  And in retrospect, she is so right.

Meditation is slowly but surely becoming something I practice everyday. I fell off the wagon pretty hard, but I’m slowly getting back on.

Keeping a small, tight-knit circle is helping way more than I assumed. Being myself around these folk without having to worry about appearances has lifted a heavy weight off of my shoulders.

Consuming positive material is helping to decrease my paranoia and pessimistic outlook on life. Yes I still love my true crime podcasts and my tidbits ever so often about local crime and politics, but I take that information in small doses without going into too much detail. I know it seems hands off and I do feel somewhat disconnected with world events, but detaching for even just a couple days really makes the world of a difference.

It’s really all by trial and error for me. I’m lucky enough to have my sweet husband who always drops a listening ear whenever I need it, because without that support I’d surely be either totally lost or up to my throat in therapy bills.

I’m slowly but surely getting a grasp of things but living an anxiety-free life continues to be a daily struggle. Choosing my battles wisely is my mantra, along with knowing that where I am today, is not my forever place. These aspirations give me some sort of comfort.

We don’t talk a lot about mental struggles around these parts, but it’s always great to chat and hear other people’s experiences. And overall, that’s why I’m here today, writing this post. So if you have anything to say at all about anxiety, anything at all, I’m all ears.

What keeps you calm and focused?

Thanks for stopping by!

P.S. some more life stuff ~ 10 simple self-care practices for everyday life and My struggle on purpose.




  Comments: 14

14 responses to “A Personal Note, about Anxiety”

  1. Maria bheda says:

    Yes! I also have to detach and meditate my stress and anxiety is bad enough anything else can be all consuming!
    Self care is essential!

  2. Victoria says:

    I struggle with anxiety too.i don’t have issues with it every day, but when I do have flare ups they are bad. It’s miserable because the doctors don’t seem to care they just want to medicate me and move on. I’m slowly learning how to deal with it on my own

  3. Alexandra says:

    Living with anxiety is surely not the easiest thing but taking small steps everyday helps me realize how lucky I am to be awake and healthy for yet another day. It’s always butterflies and rainbows cause I know how difficult it is for everyone around you to understand what’s going on in our minds – but every progress we do daily will help us get free from it all later on ? thanks for sharing x

    • Thank you for your kind words. I do have to remind myself sometimes that although things might be harder than I would like, I’m still really really fortunate and for that I am grateful. Have a great weekend, Alexandra 🙂

  4. Becca says:

    Good morning! Thank you for sharing about your struggles. I think anxiety is something that a lot of people struggle with, but not many talk about. I went through several years of intense anxiety and panic attacks and have since recovered! I wrote about my experience and what has worked for me to recover naturally.

  5. Jennifer L says:

    I completely feel you. I think anxiety although more spoken about still carries a lot of stigmatism. I think for those who don’t deal with anxiety, they can’t fully understand how anxiety works and why we can’t just shut it off when we want to. I’ve been incorporating meditation and giving myself some good “me” time for a year now and it’s really helped. OF course, also talking to someone helps so much to let out my feelings, to find validity that im not going insane and just to get a refreshing perspective.

  6. Marisa says:

    This is me 100%, I struggle with this a lot!! I try to keep the positive thoughts in place and not dwell on all the things I cant control ,, but it sure does get hard! I thinks its great that your hubby is there to listen, I bet thats a big help!

  7. I also feel like I’m getting more anxious as I get older which I didn’t expect. It’s so important to find tricks that work to control your own anxiety and not let it control your life

  8. Katherine says:

    That very first sentence grabbed my attention so hard because I feel the exact same way. So many of your triggers are similar for me and I have a hard time pin-pointing when anxiety started to become a part of my everyday life. I think it’s wonderful you’re talking about it, talking to someone and person, and recognizing the people in your life that make it better. This is such a powerful and personal post. Thank you for sharing!

  9. These are good things to do! I also found that disconnecting from the every day negativity in the world is helpful. I also found that I can distract myself a bit by going to the gym and focusing on my workout. Every little thing helps! Thanks for sharing!

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